I HATE snow!

For the last few months I’ve been taking the dog out for a walk to the local park. It wakes me up, gives me a but of a kick start and with all the running around she does it tends to settle her down for a large part of the rest of the day. This morning was no different from normal, so at just after 8 o’clock I was wandering around the park, wading through small drifts of snow and thinking about nothing much.

Now, the park is quite a big place and it has a lot of different paths and in the morning it’s quite possible to walk for more than half an hour without seeing another living soul. Especially when you go through the woods at the back of the park where the dog has plenty of opportunity to chase squirrels and rabbits.

Anyway, the dog was running ahead of me and I was strolling along underneath the trees, watching the snow fall and seeing the sun glint on the frozen ponds that I was passing. I have to admit that I was getting a bit mesmerised by this, the crunch of the snow underfoot, the dog leaving prints in the virgin snow, my breath coming out in breaths of steam and Pink Floyd playing through the headphones. It’s easy to get hypnotised by that sort of thing, well, it’s easy for it to happen to me.

Okay, I’m sure you’re wondering where this is going because, at this point, it sounds like the basis for a poem by Wordsworth. I was looking ahead now, watching the dog trying to catch snowflakes as they were coming down and laughing to myself at her sheer joy in life. All was well with the world. And then it happened. The disaster that all this had been building up to.

Lost as I was in my own little world I didn’t notice that I had wandered off the path slightly and the next thing I know is my feet go from under me and I’m falling forward. For what seemed like an eternity I was slowly falling and then I was surrounded by snow. I’d fallen face-first into a snow-drift that I later found out was almost four feet deep.

I guess I was lucky because my fall was broken by the frozen thorn bushes that lay at the bottom of the drift and, as I lay there, a number of thought went through my head. First and foremost was “Ouch!” Even through all the layers of clothes I was wearing to combat the cold the thorns were sharp. Next I was thinking “Oh my god, it’s bloody cold!” The snow had got down the back of my neck, up my sleeves, everywhere and the comfortable warm feeling I had been enjoying was most definitely gone.

After that came “Crap, I’m drowning.” At this stage the snow had got up my nose and into my mouth and it was unpleasantly like the sensation of drowning. Quickly following this was “I wonder how long it’s going to be before I’m found and I hope I die in a dignified pose.” This led on to “There’s no dignified way of drowning to death in a snow drift in a park.”

Maybe my mind was becoming irrational, or more irrational, by now because then I was thinking “Where’s that bloody dog, shouldn’t she be trying to rescue me? Maybe she’s gone for help or at least to pick up a barrel of brandy to force between my frozen lips. I’m sure Lassie would have got me out of here by now!”

I think that my mind gave up trying to figure out what was going on at this point and my body took over because, without conscious thought, I stood up. Yes, the snow did come to just over my waist, and yes I had landed in bush and no, the dog wasn’t trying to rescue me. In fact, the dog didn’t seem to have noticed that I’d gone – I could see her in the distance trying to catch up with a rabbit.

After a few failed attempts I managed to drag myself out of the drift, brushed myself down, checking that the MP3 player was still attached to my belt and continued my walk, looking around to make sure that no-one had seen my embarrassing journey. The point to this little tale is that in the face of potential disaster, my mind was absolutely no help at all, but left to its own devices, my body saved the day. If I’d continued to think about what was going on I’d probably still be down that damned hole.

Tomorrow morning, I think I may just take a different route around the park, one of the more travelled paths. And I need to do something about training to dog to rescue me in times of need.

Battletech Announcement.

Ladies and Gentleman.

My lord, Duke Lightmanne of Rapture, would like to take this opportunity to clarify the rules of the up-coming tourney.

Every entrant may take a total of 300 tonnes of Mech to the competition. You are, of course, quite welcome to take less if you should wish, but no more.

There will be a number of challenges running over the period of the tourney, each one will have a limit to the amount of tonnage that can be taken onto the field. Each event will involve competition either against other entrants, or will be a number of task that must be completed within a time limit.

Competitors be warned – there will be no repair of Battlemechs for the duration of the tourney. Any Mech you bring to the planet may be entered into as many different events as you see fit, but there will be no opportunity to make repairs between events.

Good luck, one and all.

**************************************************************************

Okay guys, some of you know Battletech but this will be new to others. So you can either make use of the pre-generated Mechs and pilots that will be available, or you can tinker with your own designs, up to you.

Any questions, just give me a shout.

And Dave – no, you can’t use the pilots you built up in the last campaign!

BATTLETECH

Planet Rapture : Home of Duke Lightmanne, one of the most influential and wealthy people in the sector.

Once every 5 years, the Duke hosts a great tourney, a competition where BattleMech pilots are pitted against each other and the tourney itself in an attempt to find out just who is the best. The rewards are great, but so are the dangers.

There was a time when this was a friendly competition, where blank rounds were used and electronic tags informed your Mech when it had taken “damage”, but times change. Now, the battles are to the death, now the crow bays for blood, now there will be only one person who can walk away from the field of conflict.

The tourney takes place over a month and there are numerous events, everything from single Mech on Mech combat, to vast battles where dozens of the metal monsters compete to be the one that remains standing. There will be times when you have to work together to defeat an enemy, there will be times when you must use guile and treachery to win. And there will be times when only your courage and skills stands between you and the grave.

Are you up to the challenge?

Saturday 24th July.

Glasgow

Starts at midday and goes on until the beer runs out.

Old school Battletech 3025. Grab a beer, grab some pizza and if you have any free hands, grab some dice and blow the crap out of some ‘Mechs!

The Black Lights

2006 was a big year. The Chinese River Dolphin becomes extinct. The first case of Avian Flu was discovered in the UK. North Korea started dabbling in nuclear experiments and music legends Gene Pitney and James Brown died. But not all is doom and gloom, for 2006 also saw the formation of The Black Lights, a five piece rock band that have been receiving rave reviews, expanding international internet play and have achieved a dedicated cult following that travel the country to see the band play.

The Black Lights are fronted by James McCulloch on vocals, his striking physical appearance is only matched by the width of his singing talents. Cal Bowes and Steven Nicol are on guitar, bonus points if you can tell which one has the continually expanding guitar collection. Greig Nicol is on base, you can recognise him by the back of his head. And Stuart Penketh’s distinctive drumming style forms a solid backing to these high energy rockers.

“They walk the rock walk and talk the rock talk” Bluesbunny Music Reviews.

Since that fateful day in 2006 when the band got together, they have been gigging steadily and expanding on their repertoire. In 2009 they won a Battle of the Bands competition for a well known and respected classic rock magazine and this was the incentive they needed to take the next step. Gigging with even more enthusiasm and energy then before, they also took time from their hectic schedule to record their first album.

“Rock Awesome” is due for release on 6th August 2010 through all digital distributers with the CD being available from both Amazon and cdbaby. The album was recorded in Chambers Studio in Edinburgh and when asked why there, James McCulloch had this to say. “We used Chambers because we were aiming to give the album a gritty, late 70’s New York kinda feel.” Whatever the reason behind their choice, the album is distinctively Black Lights.

“They left my iTunes post coital and smoking” – Rana Kelly of Fullmetalrock.com

Having supported GUN, Dogs D’Amour, Anvil, Slaves to Gravity, Black Spiders and Heaven’s Basement, amongst many others, the Black Lights have a focussed idea of where they are going and how to get there.

For more information, follow them on www.myspace.com/theblacklightsrock and www.facebook.com/theblacklightsrock. The band store can be found at www.theblacklights.bigcartel.com

“Good old fashioned Rock ‘n’ Roll!” Jim Gellatly.